Intro
So now that you're warmed up, let's get to business shall we? Several Saturdays ago, I had plane tickets from Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania (ya know, that place by Scranton where they film "The Office") to Charlotte, North Carolina. First, things got kicked off on the right foot with a plane delay. Truthfully, it's actually probably a good thing it got delayed because I didn't have everything ready (Procrastination is the middle name, folks). Chris and I were able to head over to the airport and have plenty of time available to us.
The plane ride on the way to NC was pretty interesting. It was actually my first plane ride. You're probably expecting an embarrassing puke story here, aren't you? Well guess what? Sorry to ruin the fun, but I didn't throw up on my first plane ride. I pounded down a Dramamine before the flight so I wouldn't get any motion sickness.
The Plot
The plot unfolded after Chris and I landed in North Carolina. First, we were chased by vicious and hungry security dogs after we landed. Chris, me and some other random guy were the victims of being chased. We had no idea as to why we were being chased, but I can tell you this. Right then and there, the adrenaline rushed in and this brain starting working. I knew right away that we couldn't outrun a bunch of security dogs even despite how fit and buff we are. So the brain started ticking away as we were running for our lives and then - DING! This boy got an idea! We didn't need to outrun the dogs, we just needed to outrun the other guy. So as we were running, the other guy just couldn't keep up with us, stumbled and he was toast. The dogs were distracted and we made a safe getaway to the bar, where we preceded to pound down drink after drink after drink. Then, we met up with the girls. (Okay, so I exaggerated the plot a little bit there. I thought I would try to juice the story up). No, we didn't get chased by dogs, or hit the bar up before we were greeted by Jan, Jenna and Emily. In fact, we got in a car and drove to a dorm, which in reality, is pretty normal. On the way there, I stocked up on some groceries to last me for the trip. All I ate was eggs, oatmeal, tuna, cottage cheese and olive oil the whole time I was down there (not including some places we went to eat).
The rest of the night we played some good old fashioned board games (well technically it was more of a machine game, but you get the point). I was at my normal competitive self as usual. After the game, I saw a reality about myself that whenever there is a game going on or something where there is a winner, I just have to win. Why is this? Because I hate losing, naturally. DUH! Heh, I can think back to the Glory Days at my house, playing monopoly or any other board game. Whenever I think back to those times, there are always images that pop up in my head of me throwing a fit or crying because I lost at something. I once threw a nickel at my brother, who I missed. Instead, I hit and smashed a ceramic lamp in my grandmother's house INSTANTLY with the nickel. The poor thing didn't even stand a chance. And why do you ask would I do such a thing? It was over a game I lost. The fact is I don't know why I always took winning seriously, but the nickel smashing beast did not rear his head as the guys lost to the gals during the game. I guess I hate losing still, but don't throw hissy fits anymore (much).
The next day was full of events. It involved bowling. It involved a good Disney movie for $2! Eat your heart out, Wilkes Barre! The movie was Tangled, by the way. I gotta say that I was impressed with the movie. Unlike many kids, the only Disney movie I saw growing up was the Lion King. So, it was nice to get some more Disney movies under my belt. After the movie, we ate a Cook Out, which was rather good. I had a chicken wrap (no dressing of course!) and I was in chicken wrap heaven for several minutes. Seriously, I'm not even joking. Well... okay, maybe a little. During the night, we watched some funny videos. Lizard Lick Towing Company is hysterical Southern comedy at its best.
The next day was pretty eventful as well. It involved waking up in the morning and starting my day off like Rocky. I felt rather lazy to cook the eggs again, so I just manned up, cracked 6 into a glass and drank them. It was actually pretty disgusting, but cool at the same time because I felt more manly after drinking it. I'll tell you this, if I had a three wolves moon shirt on while I was drinking the eggs, I would of instantly became a superhero. I mean, think about it. It's simple math. Lean and buff dude with a mysterious shirt, spending breakfast drinking raw eggs in the kitchen of a dorm room in North Carolina. Obviously, the universe would of been mine for the taking at the very moment. Unfortunately, I wasn't even aware of the existence of three wolf moon shirts at this time, or I would of tried it. To be serious, the eggs were pretty nasty going down. To be completely graphic, the texture of each individual yolk going down was the worst part. I shut my taste buds off by simply not breathing in case you were wondering about the taste. Sorry if I made you lose your appetite, or worse yet, I'm sorry if you are eating while you were reading this. I'll buy you a new meal.
We all went to the playground. Derek and I spent some time being awesome and playing in the sand. Okay, okay maybe it wasn't that awesome, but we were awesome in my head at that time. That's what counts. They can't take that away from me. :-)
I gotta say, it was nice to get back in the old habits. Running around the playground, monkeying around the monkey bars, falling down the slide while walking up it; it made me feel like a young kid again. After the playground, we chilled at the dorm for a little bit. Then, Jan, Jenna, Chris and I ventured out to a Waffle House. Now, I hope you are ready for the next part of the story, because this possibly made the trip. No, there was nothing wrong with the meal. I had a chicken sandwich and it was actually very good. However, after drinking my normal 2-3 waters at the table, I requested for another. As it was sitting there, all fresh and well... cold, the unthinkable happened. As Jan reached for the bill, I being the great gentleman I normally am, grabbed it before she could look at it. As the bill was grasped loosely in my hand, I felt fine and dandy for grabbing the bill. Then there was a sudden plot twist. Jan made a move. She went for the bill, while catching me off guard. I was shocked at this stealthy attempt. I, being the clumsy person I am, dumped my water glass all over Jan in my attempt to grab the bill back. As the glass rolled in her direction, I heard a sudden shriek. It was the shriek of fear; for I had spilled my 24 ounce ice cold water directly into Jan's lap. I quickly looked around, and noticed that not all of the water was dumped. So I improvised. I grabbed the glass and poured the remaining water onto myself. Why? I have absolutely no idea. It was in the heat of the moment, I guess. For a minute, I actually thought Jan was going to leave me stranded in North Carolina and not take me to the airport. However, she wasn't sore about it and we just couldn't stop laughing.
Jan actually drove us all to the airport. Haha, I should of figured that she would be desperate to drop me off there. I said goodbye. Everybody cried because they wanted me to stay longer (alright maybe not, but that's what I told myself they did in the car after they walked out, haha). I rode home solo the whole way back and that was it. My trip was complete.
Learning the Southern Language
During my stay, I learned a few things about the Southern language. Now, there isn't really a different language in the South. It's still English of course, but there are some differences in pronunciations, words and so forth compared to what I heard up here in the North.
-All G's are silent in the South. Or at least most of the time they are? (Still working on this one)
-When southern people get angry, their southern accent gets that much stronger for how angry they get (basically, just run away when you hear a super strong southern accent)
-If you ever want to screw southern people up, they don't know the word clutch. I got some weird looks from everybody when I said it at least, haha.
-ING is changed to IN'. Going becomes goin', Coming becomes comin' and so forth.
-You all, becomes Y'all
Learning the Southern Ways and Culture
I am still what you would call a Southern n00b when it comes to culture and stuff, but here are some findings about the Southern culture during my 3 day stay at least.
-Everybody knows some good country music.
-Beer is sold at regular grocery stores (at least in North Carolina).
-Older people walk around in malls professionally and seriously (I'm sure there are people in the North that do this too, but I have never seen people that power walk an entire mall many times in decked out Lance Armstrong gear).
-Movies are cheap. This is obviously a good thing.
-NASCAR is a way of life.
-The food is pretty good. I noticed there is more of an emphasis on chicken and meat around the South- more places like Cook Out.
3 General Lessons I Learned during the trip
1. Don't lift your feet up when you land while riding on an airplane.
2. People can actually hear you when you sing in the shower
3. If you need to tow a car from a guy, persuade him that you'll give him $80 to tow it and then get him to hook his car up to the tow for you. Then, take his car and watch him chase you for it and the money he wants.
Differences between the North and South
You know, I gotta say there are some pretty big differences from the North and South. I got asked during the trip if I had to choose over the North and South where I would want to live. I gotta say, I seriously thought this one over. I think it goes like this - if there were no factors involved, I would choose the South. Hands down, it's not even a question. Now, when everything gets factored in (the roots and family I have in the North, the job I currently have in the North, the snow in the North, the cooler climates in the North) then it's much tougher to decide. I will say this though, if we look at girls, I'm choosing the South every time. The general gist is that they are much nicer, prettier and more... I don't know... fun? So wait, does that mean they are just way better than Northern girls overall? Ah, I don't know.
People are nicer in general. Usually people are more friendly it seemed like in the South. I also noticed that there is less talk of politics in the South. At least, that's the premise I gathered. It's okay, I think this is actually a good thing. Most of the time, when people talk about politics, it's negative bashing of the government or something to that extent.
There are definitely less things to do in the South. There's not much you can actually do in the South. The malls are pretty small, there aren't many options to eat and there aren't too many places to bowl even. As a result, you have to drive to a bigger city which can take a good amount of time. You can always find things to do in the South if you get creative though.
-Me monkeying around at the playgroundConclusion
So this is the part where I tell you what I think of the trip I had, right? What exactly are you expecting me to say? That I either had a good time or a bad time, right? Is that how these posts usually go? Well, you know what? I hate being unoriginal. So, I'll let you figure it out for yourself rather than telling you straight-up what I thought of the trip. But let's review shall we:
-I took a mini-vacation with some awesome people
-I met some new friends
-I took my first plane ride
-I had a day off from work
-I learned more about a culture I didn't really know too much of
-I learned some neat-o Southern slang (not just curse words, either!)
-I played some quick name game I have never played before
-I sang in the shower
-I ate raw eggs (top that one!)
-I ate raw oatmeal as a snack
-I ate at my first Cook Out
-I ate at my first Waffle House
-I watched a good movie for $2!!!
-I gave a very bad first impression with someone new I met (sorry about the bathroom, Rachel)
-I started a sing-along SEVERAL times during the vacation (Sorry, the old lady sitting next to me on the way home in the plane either didn't care or hear me. Curse you, hearing aids!)
-I swung on some swings and monkey bars showing off my awesome physique while doing it (okay not really, but I tried)
-I played in a sand box
-I accidentally played in water and caused quiet a ruckus while doing it (haha Jan) :-P
So you tell me, did I have a great time?
Thanks "Y'all",
Kurt
